Description:We are learning to write a story that entertains the readers. We were told that we were allowed to write about anything we wanted as long as it was funny. We had to write a funny story about schools going to camp. I chose to write pretending that I was a camp cabin. My writing had to have a start, middle and end. Nic said it had to have a really good ending.
Day in the life as a camp cabin
Oh no is it? No Yes. It is the second school of the week! Hi I am cabin three. I like my job and I don't now why. Well my job is to, oh I'm like a bedroom but 7-8 girls sleep in the same room as each other. You could not think what you would find in a cabin, no... no cabin 3 !
P.s do you want to go on and find out what's in cabin 3? Yes? No? Well too late I'm telling you!
It was Tuesday morning RSS is coming to camp. Did you know that no girl ever says thank you to me. All they do is bang on the walls and talk about all the other cabins. Ha! I'm going to play a trick on my cabin.
All the girls do two activities and then they all go and have tea.
The night has come. All the girls get ready for bed. 1, 2 ,3 ,4 , 5, 6, 7, 8 girls are all in bed now. I wait a little bit and... creak creak!! "Ha" said Molly and Kate at the same time. All the rest of the girls wake up. A teacher walks into the cabin. "all you girls should be asleep." "But...but.... the cabin," screamed Polly "What about the cabin?" asked the teacher
"Oh that didn't work I'll try tomorrow night". I said to myself.
The morning comes. All 8 girls wake up. They climb out of bed and some go to the shower and some take off their pyjamas and get dressed and brush their hair.
At 8:00 pm all the girls dash in and make a big noise. "All you girls in bed now ok." Said the teacher. "We don't want to go to sleep," screamed all the girls. "NOW GO TO BED!" shouted the teacher
"The time has come ..." I said
I shook the room as hard as I could burn not that hard so the other cabins could feel it. It was hard enough that all the girls would feel it. I don't want to knock all the girls off their beds, that's the last thing on my list.
I stop ..... then I hear a girl say, "cabin we would love it if you would stop shaking the cabin and stop making the cabin creak."
I was so happy I started to cry. I stopped crying and said... "I will."
And that, well that, was how someone talked to me!
10 months later I don't even know the girl who talked to me was.
Feedback and feedforward: I think you did a good job at looking at the cabin's perspective of things. Next time you could add some more similes, otherwise you did a really good entertaining story.-Aria
Evaluation: I think my story entertained people but next time I will add similes to my writing to create imagery.